Did I mention that one of the Search words leading to my Blog is “Commonwealth Games”? I guess that goes for the number of times I have written about them here! 😉 And since the damage has already been done, and I have been tainted as a CWG Blogger, I guess another post won’t do much harm! Last one. I promise.
*My Fingers are crossed. La la!*
So, I gather you have seen all the media reports? Are you absolutely aghast at the sad state Delhi is in? Are you wondering how us poor Delhites are putting up with this mess? Are you wondering if the Games are going to let us down and embarrass us in ways we can’t imagine? Are you wondering why Abhishek Bachchan’s Idea ad is SO stupid?
This is where you will get the answers to all your questions (Except the last one. Beats me too.), ankhon dekhi khabar, infused with oodles of optimism! That’s right! After months of contrived hysteria and exaggeration from the media, I have realized the only way out of this mess is through it. So, lets brace ourselves for the Games by being positive. Huh? Okay? Come on. Pliss? Great then.
First hand reports:
The traffic situation is totally fun. Half our roads are closed down for the delegate movement. So, we have only half the roads for free movement. A little bit of mathematics here.
Number of cars = Constant
Width of road = Half of original
Length of traffic jam = ?
You got it right! Treat yourselves with a chocolate, CWG ke naam pe! For those of you who didn’t get it:
The positive thing in this HAS to be the exceptional patience & discipline Delhites have shown! Of course, there’s that little problem of being thrown into the jail if we don’t show this patience, but we’ll keep that a secret.
Personally, I don’t have a problem with this new traffic rule because while others are stuck in this lane, guess where I am?
That’s because our office bus timings have been shifted to 7:00 in the morning, when all delegates are fast asleep. You might think that means I come home early, but that’s entirely false. So, I am in office by ungodly hours like 8 am! But I am happy. Who want to sleep extra anyway? Bah. Not me. Sniff. Excuse me. Please change the topic.
The Games Village looks good from far away. No pun intended, just that I see it from far away everyday. I am sure it looks good from up close too! Don’t go by all this fuss from the media! After one threshold, it seemed amply obvious people were just enjoying passing comments. Just like that. What else would explain the African envoys complaining of snakes? Seriously? Seriously? I mean RumbaHo boy here:
Is Scared of Snakes? Here we are, going out of our way trying to make them feel at home and they are complaining? Wait till I go to Africa. I’ll go on an African Safari, deep in the jungle, park my car next to a lion, call the International media and say, “There’s a lion in my parking lot!” People, I tell you, do not appreciate the hard work we are putting in.
I have to say this, my bus-stop after 6 months of work is finally done! I have no idea what exactly they did, except for this weird structure I see in the middle of the footpath. It’s a wooden cubicle plonked upright with the help of some very shaky rods. I am actually wondering what it could be. Help-desk? Police cabin? Loo? Shop? Club house? I have no idea! I have a feeling I am in for a surprise! Watch this space, I’ll keep you updated.
They have really beefed up security. That’s actually a positive point. Because my house lines the back gate to the Badminton complex, we have truckloads of police force there too! Yay! Poor things, I tell you. They look so bored, I feel like sleeping every time I see them! The only entertainment they have in the entire day is curious onlookers, little kids pointing at the guns, dogs who are out to relieve themselves. Sigh.
Last. And definitely not the least.THE TICKETS ARRIVED TODAY!
That’s right. I am off to watch the Badminton Semis and the Tennis Finals! Yoohoooo! Before you judge me for supporting corruption or whatever, I think we deserve to watch these Games for all the baloney we are putting up with! 😉
This is my first time at a Sports event and I plan to make myself seen. Do watch out for me. I will be holding these banners:
I don’t know about the rest of them, but the last one makes a little sense to me. Why don’t you help me by praying that Saina Nehwal reaches the Semis? So that my tickets don’t go waste? Hmm?
See, this is what happens when I reach office at 8 in the morning! Long, useless posts! Now that others have started pouring in, I’ll go do some real work.. Or not.
Have a great day!
Image Courtesy: Apna pyara Clipart. Chetan Bhagat’s cartoon is from SantaBanta.com (!!!) and the snake is from atlantaplanningguys.com.