Chained!

41

December 28, 2010 by Preeks

I hate office mail chains. Detest them. Abhor them. As much as I abhor the idea of working for a living. I don’t get the logic behind single line replies or retorts in some cases, that go on till eternity, getting bitchier and ruder with each passing mail. One fine day you are in the CC list of an innocent mail and the next day you find yourself in the “To” list. The how, why and when of that action is impossible to trace thanks to the unbelievable length of the mail chain and insensible answers that you will have to sift through to solve the mystery.
To save this world from getting dragged into a quagmire of mail chains and “Reply to all” mess-ups, I thought of a way out. Remember Gandhiji’s Talisman that was the first printed page of every NCERT book? I present to you the Worst Case Scenario Talisman. It is simple enough.
“Whenever you are in doubt about the work-life balance syndrome, or when you spend a night too many working, apply the following test. Recall the face of a person you love a lot, now try to imagine how absolutely horrendous your life would be, if your only medium of communication with them was through continuous mail chains. Would you be able to get your point across? Ever? Your answer invariably will be no. Hence proved. Q.E.D”

To illustrate the case in point, I will take the example of a simple conversation with, say, my Mom, with whom I share a typical relation, meaning, we understand each other well enough. Imagine this conversation I would have with my Mum when she calls me for dinner every night.
(FYI, P refers to me!)
******************
From: Mum
To: P
CC: Dad
Dear P,

Dinner’s ready. Please find attached the Menu. Kindly provide your approval for the same and grace the occasion with your presence.

Regards
Mum

******************
From: P
To:Mum
CC: Dad
Dear Ma,
The Menu is not okay with me. Sambhar on a Tuesday? That defies Rule 3 of the mutually agreed upon Rulebook. Besides, lauki was on the list of “Prohibited items”. Also, has Dad provided approval? I hope you understand that the next step cannot be taken unless the highest authority has provided approval.
In case there are any other queries, we can have a con-call.

Regards
P

******************
From: Mum
To: P
CC: Dad
Dear P,
 
My wordings were misunderstood by you. I am the  highest authority in the kitchen, and I have the right to over-rule the rule book. Besides, what is the list of Prohibited items? Please share the same. Apparently, I was never informed about it. Also, PFA your Dad’s approval.
Are you coming or not?
Regards
Mum


******************
From: P
To:Mum; Dad
CC:
Dear Mum,
PFA the required list.
Dad said yes to this? 

@Dad: Seriously?? Seriously?? What the hell is wrong with you? Lauki??

Sigh. I’ll come. Whatever.

P

******************
From: Dad
To: P; Mum
CC:
Dear P & M,
Can you just decide amongst yourselves? Dragged me from “Cc” to “To”. Just like that. Hmmpphh.

@M: Lauki?? You never mentioned that in the mail you sent me. I over-rule that.

Dad
******************
From: Mum
To: Dad; P
CC:
Dear D,
You approved yesterday’s menu thinking it was today’s. But of course. We had noodles yesterday, remember? PFA today’s menu. Approve it.

Mum
******************
From: Dad
To: P; Mum
CC:
Dear M,
Not approved.
Dad
******************
From: Mum
To: P; Dad
CC:
Dear D & P,
Dinner has been served with Lauki and sambhar. I have started eating. If you are interested, join in. Otherwise, PFA the doctor’s bills from the last time you ate out.
Whatever.

Sigh.
Mum

******************
From: P
To: Mum
CC: Dad
Dear Mum,
Coming.

Lots of love! 
Muaaaahh!
P

******************
From: Mum
To: P
CC: Dad
Dear P,
Stop the drama.

Hugs,
Mum

******************
From: Dad
To: P; Mum
CC:
Dear M & P,

Awww. I am coming too.

Dad

******************
******************
******************
You get the point. *Shudder*  
I rest my case. 
That, my dear friends, is the worst case scenario and precisely the reason why I hate mail chains. Try this Talisman. Lots of fun, I tell you! 😀

On that note, I need to go and answer a few dozen mails that have cropped up in my mail box since I started typing out this post. I’ll go play Chain-chain for a while!

Signing out,
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41 thoughts on “Chained!

  1. DI says:

    Loved it , loved it, totally loved it! 😀 Had me rolling throughout! 🙂

    Like

  2. Preeti says:

    @DI: Man, you were quick! :a
    You have been working for a while now. You get this mail-chain thingy? Goes above my head all the time! :c

    Like

  3. rechristened says:

    Hehehe, I feel your pain. My team members (full of Mallus) like to bring in the Mallu element into every email that is exchanged. Thus begin the chain mails.

    Like

  4. Preeti says:

    @Rechristened: Mallu elements! That must be entertaining! 😀

    Like

  5. ROFL! Girl, you win this case hands down! 😀

    Like

  6. Preeti says:

    @Celestial Rays: *Takes a bow*
    Thank you! :c

    Like

  7. S says:

    What a laugh riot !!!
    😮 play chain-chain HAHA :c

    read something creatively original after so long!!!

    Like

  8. Preeti says:

    @S: Glad I could make you laugh! Much obliged! :a :h

    Like

  9. Rajlakshmi says:

    ROFL ROFL … I am glad such convos are limited to where it should be… hillarious 😀
    though the chain mails at my offc are always a welcome break …

    Like

  10. Harini says:

    LMAO! You win it! No arguments here. This post had me rolling in laughter :O

    Like

  11. This is what we say creativity and imagination at its best…a lethal combination…excellent

    Like

  12. Blognostic says:

    Technology sometimes divides people instead of uniting them.

    Like

  13. Preeti says:

    @Rajlakshmi: :c
    I agree though. Mail Chains can be fun to read through! 😮

    Like

  14. Preeti says:

    @Harini: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed! :c :h

    Like

  15. Preeti says:

    @Mr.Lemon: Much obliged! Thanks! :h :a

    Like

  16. Preeti says:

    @Blognostic: True that!

    Like

  17. ajay says:

    Ahahaha… What a post to start the day with! Splendid. Stop the drama! :c :c Hence also proved that mom is the ultimate authority at home. :a

    Like

  18. Roshmi Sinha says:

    That was one funny post. Wonder how you churn out such posts one after the other. And how you find humour in everything. Thanks for the laughs :c :C :C

    Like

  19. Preeti says:

    @Ajay: Glad you enjoyed! :a

    Like

  20. Preeti says:

    @Roshmi: I try, glad you enjoy! :a
    It's my pleasure to humour the world in any small way possible! :c

    Like

  21. Tanishka... says:

    ROFL… superb gal…. And lauki, i'm on your side… But can't help it… Mom is the ultimate ruler no matter how many supporters we find… 🙂

    Like

  22. Karthik says:

    Was this fiction or does this happen in real? :c
    Either ways, it was sooopar! Yanjaayed reading. By the way what is lauki? Is it that bad? :j

    Like

  23. Karthik says:

    Does this really happen at your home, I mean? 😮

    Like

  24. Deepika says:

    wow! that was sooo hilarious… i dnt know how i came here but im glad i did… now i might see some more stuff…
    wowie!! :n

    p.s.- awesome smileys yr!

    Like

  25. ha ha that was nice….:D

    Like

  26. Wildflower says:

    ROFL!!! Rockstar post preeti “:s”

    I absolutely hate office chain mails, especially those which copy everybody and anybody from office whether or not they have anything to do with the matter!! And mores detest those people who copy members of top management thinking it will push the other party into submitting to their demands! uff!

    PS. Mom IS and will remain the real authority in the kitchen! Mess with this boss and life will be upside-down! Trust me, i have faced the wrath of a scorned Kitchen queen and the repercussions are not pretty.

    Like

  27. Oh you should have added a few more people..who keeps saying every second mail 'Please remove me from this chain mail'..'me too'..'me too'

    THAT drives me nuts.. :r

    Like

  28. Preeti says:

    @Tanishka: Hehe! Amen to that! Mum's the word! :a :c

    Like

  29. Preeti says:

    @Karthik: Ohho. The Talisman says “Imagine” this. So obviously, this is fiction. But I see the possiblity of this becoming a reality in workoholic families in the near future! :c
    You don't know Lauki? Seriously? That's Bottle Gourd.

    Like

  30. Preeti says:

    @Deepika: Thanks! :a
    Welcome here! :h

    Like

  31. Preeti says:

    @Ravan: Thanks! :h

    Like

  32. Preeti says:

    @Wildflower: YEAH! Even I hate those who do that – Cc the top management! And absolutely – like I said above too, Mum's the word! :c

    Like

  33. Preeti says:

    @Comfy: Hahahaa! :c Absolutely! Should have added those too! :c

    Like

  34. Bikramjit says:

    he he he ehe 🙂 I try not to do chain mails but have done some times by mistake ..

    But some chain mails have got people in trouble tooo 🙂 where without realising they have written something and pressed the send button … 🙂 oooops

    and MUM's are the KINGSSSSSSSSs 🙂

    Wishing you and every around you a very happy new year …

    Bikram's

    Like

  35. Tanishka says:

    Happy New Year Preeti… 🙂

    Like

  36. Preeti says:

    @Bikram: Happy new year to you too! :a

    Like

  37. Preeti says:

    @Tanishka: Thanks! :a
    Happy new year to you too! :a

    Like

  38. Swaram says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Like

  39. Swaram says:

    Ha ha!U r funny 😉
    So, whatz for lunch today 😛

    Like

  40. Preeti says:

    @Swaram: 😀
    Will mail my Mum and ask her! 😀

    Like

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