Chained!

41

December 28, 2010 by Preeks

I hate office mail chains. Detest them. Abhor them. As much as I abhor the idea of working for a living. I don’t get the logic behind single line replies or retorts in some cases, that go on till eternity, getting bitchier and ruder with each passing mail. One fine day you are in the CC list of an innocent mail and the next day you find yourself in the “To” list. The how, why and when of that action is impossible to trace thanks to the unbelievable length of the mail chain and insensible answers that you will have to sift through to solve the mystery.

To save this world from getting dragged into a quagmire of mail chains and “Reply to all” mess-ups, I thought of a way out. Remember Gandhiji’s Talisman that was the first printed page of every NCERT book? I present to you the Worst Case Scenario Talisman. It is simple enough.

“Whenever you are in doubt about the work-life balance syndrome, or when you spend a night too many working, apply the following test. Recall the face of a person you love a lot, now try to imagine how absolutely horrendous your life would be, if your only medium of communication with them was through continuous mail chains. Would you be able to get your point across? Ever? Your answer invariably will be no. Hence proved. Q.E.D”

To illustrate the case in point, I will take the example of a simple conversation with, say, my Mom, with whom I share a typical relation, meaning, we understand each other well enough. Imagine this conversation I would have with my Mum when she calls me for dinner every night.

(FYI, P refers to me!)

******************

From: Mum
To: P

CC: Dad

Dear P,

Dinner’s ready. Please find attached the Menu. Kindly provide your approval for the same and grace the occasion with your presence.

Regards

Mum

******************

From: P
To:Mum

CC: Dad

Dear Ma,

The Menu is not okay with me. Sambhar on a Tuesday? That defies Rule 3 of the mutually agreed upon Rulebook. Besides, lauki was on the list of “Prohibited items”. Also, has Dad provided approval? I hope you understand that the next step cannot be taken unless the highest authority has provided approval.

In case there are any other queries, we can have a con-call.

Regards

P

******************

From: Mum
To: P

CC: Dad

Dear P,

 

My wordings were misunderstood by you. I am the  highest authority in the kitchen, and I have the right to over-rule the rule book. Besides, what is the list of Prohibited items? Please share the same. Apparently, I was never informed about it. Also, PFA your Dad’s approval.

Are you coming or not?

Regards

Mum

******************

From: P
To:Mum; Dad

CC:

Dear Mum,

PFA the required list.

Dad said yes to this? 

@Dad: Seriously?? Seriously?? What the hell is wrong with you? Lauki??

Sigh. I’ll come. Whatever.

P

******************

From: Dad
To: P; Mum

CC:

Dear P & M,

Can you just decide amongst yourselves? Dragged me from “Cc” to “To”. Just like that. Hmmpphh.

@M: Lauki?? You never mentioned that in the mail you sent me. I over-rule that.

Dad

******************

From: Mum
To: Dad; P

CC:

Dear D,

You approved yesterday’s menu thinking it was today’s. But of course. We had noodles yesterday, remember? PFA today’s menu. Approve it.

Mum

******************

From: Dad
To: P; Mum

CC:

Dear M,

Not approved.

Dad

******************

From: Mum
To: P; Dad

CC:

Dear D & P,

Dinner has been served with Lauki and sambhar. I have started eating. If you are interested, join in. Otherwise, PFA the doctor’s bills from the last time you ate out.

Whatever.

Sigh.

Mum

******************

From: P
To: Mum

CC: Dad

Dear Mum,

Coming.

Lots of love! 

Muaaaahh!

P

******************

From: Mum
To: P

CC: Dad

Dear P,

Stop the drama.

Hugs,

Mum

******************

From: Dad
To: P; Mum

CC:

Dear M & P,

Awww. I am coming too.

Dad

******************

******************

******************

You get the point. *Shudder*  

I rest my case. 

That, my dear friends, is the worst case scenario and precisely the reason why I hate mail chains. Try this Talisman. Lots of fun, I tell you! 😀

On that note, I need to go and answer a few dozen mails that have cropped up in my mail box since I started typing out this post. I’ll go play Chain-chain for a while!

Signing out,