July 22, 2015 by Preeks
Let me explain.
Take this chat, for example:
I am happy that I quit this fu#$ing job.
It feels awesome.
I will party tonight.
Holy Shit. Why did I do this?
I don’t have another job in hand.
Why would I do this?
Do you know of any openings?
Oh God. How will I tell my parents?
Couldn’t take it any more.
I hope this boss rots in hell.
I hope someone tells him GoT spoilers.
I hope he gets a horrible reportee.
I hope they didn’t mind the dramatic smashing of the laptop I did today.
I hope they clear my dues and give me a relieving letter.
Oh God. Shit.
How about this one?
I am so drunk.
Wake me up when this is over.
Pay for me please? I’ll pay you back when I get a job.
Are you getting my point? Our conversations are now interpreted by evil smileys. They decide how we are to be judged. It’s scary. Can you imagine what this will do to how we interact with people? When I was a kid, the only smileys we got were on our notebooks. Smiley face for good work. Do you know what this will be like when your kids go to schools?
🙂 – Good Work
😦 – Bad Work
😛 – What were you thinking?
😀 – That was funny. I will have to mark you low for this. And also, probably send this to the Principle
😉 – Nice try, kiddo.
– Kid. How many times do I have to tell you to re-check your answers?
:* – Hi Baby. Its nice when you get your kids assigned to you, no?
I tell you. Shudder.
I propose we start a viral movement – “Ban Smileys or lose your smile.”
In case you are still not convinced, I have one more case study. Check this one out and I am sure, you will become torchbearers of the movement.
Fairly simple. Ingenious. Genuine happiness.
I am putting a smiley face to show you that I am ok with you having fun with your friends. When I am actually seething here.
Haha. Lol. Aur bolo friends se touch mein rehna hai.
I know you are dying to get home and watch Suits with me. But whatever, you asked for this. Now suffer!
Hope you are having fun. While I sit alone at home.
I am not trying to make you feel bad for me. No, wait. I actually am.
You do know this means you will have to make up in some way, right?
I downloaded 3 romantic comedies.
We are having only veg food for the next one week.
I told the maid to take the next week off.
I booked a hotel in Colombo.
And the worst of them all, the one with no smiley:
Is she angry?
Is she ok with this?
Is she planning something?
Can I do this again?
Oh god, give me some hint, lady.
*All characters and situations appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead or situations, is purely coincidental.*
Anyway. You get my point? This Smiley invasion is changing our lives, one 🙂 at a time. Before you know it, we would be encased in little yellow balls, ruining our lives, interpreting our statements, making us say things we never meant to and mean things we never said.
I urge you once again. Join “Ban Smileys or lose your smile.”
Oh sorry, I meant Preeks 🙂
No, I mean Preeks x-)
Damn. I mean Preeks :-X
Please. Lets do this.