April 12, 2016 by Preeks
Indian cooking is not easy. Not as easy as they make it sound on Masterchef – “Roti bread with curry”. Comes with a huge set of complications. Like:
Problem 1: Deciding what to cook
It takes me 30 seconds to structure a good presentation, 25 seconds to decide which book to buy, 20 seconds to decide not to wake up for running and 1 hour of sitting in front of the fridge and 10 Whatsapps to Mom to decide what to make for dinner. Noone told me that this was the hardest part.
I think someone needs to make an app. You enter the basic things in the fridge, and it tells you what you can make. I should make this app and charge people for it.
Problem 2: Add a little salt
While you are at that, why don’t you wear a dress of any color and read a book by any author and watch a movie with any actor? How can an instruction be so unspecific? First round of adding salt is always only a little short. Second round is a little too much.
Problem 3: Onion, Garlic, Ginger and Tomato
Fire, water, earth and air. A bit more important than these are onion, garlic, ginger and tomatoes in Indian cooking.
Dum Aloo – Fry ginger garlic paste, add onion, then add tomato.
Shahi Paneer – Fry onion, add ginger garlic.Add tomato.
Malai Kofta – Fry onion and tomato. Add ginger and garlic.
It is like jumbled sentences. Only thing, whichever way you arrange them, you have the right answer.
I don’t know why noone is worried that we are so dependent on just 4 ingredients.
Problem 4: Oh the simple roti bread
Only that it is not that simple. These Moms make it sound so simple.
Mix the dough. (Also, it is sticky like hell. You will feel a little like the Sandman in Spiderman 3).
It will become round and neat. (It will not. You will keep trying till the cows come home and the calves too and their kids too.)
Roll the dough into circles on the rolling pan. (It will stick to the rolling pan for dear life. When you try to pull it off, it will cry and hang on and tear. Much like protesting activists at Jantar Mantar).
The round shape will just form. (Just like Bangalore Traffic will clear itself away. After 3 to 4 hours.)
Nothing is simple in Indian cooking. And we should be worried. Most people I know of my age do not know how to cook. What will we teach the next generation? Oh, we should be very worried.