P for Pratham Sthaan

13

April 20, 2016 by Preeks

Couple of days back, I took my 4 year old niece to the park. When we returned, we had the following conversation:

Me: Did you have fun?
She: Yeaaah! I had so much fun.

Me: But I had more fun than you.
She: No, I had the mostest fun.

Me: No way. I had the most fun.
She: I had 60 Million 20 80 90 million fun. I win.

How can anyone argue with that? I gave in. 

But I normally don’t. And that’s the reason for today’s post. This nagging belief in the head that everything is a competition.

You know how parents make 2 to 6 year olds eat? “Let’s see who will eat first!” 
I have sincerely started believing that I never outgrew that phase. I still think I am competing with someone for everything. What else would explain this behaviour of mine:

I gave more gifts. I win.
I love you more. I win.
I sent you more messages today. I win.
(“But I called.” “This is not a race. You called because I am your wife.”)
I made such a nice dinner today. I win.

I guess, sometimes, it is important to be competitive. But when your head starts running only in that direction (And running the fastest at that. I win), it is time to slow down.

When I have kids, I will let them eat as long as they want, even if they come last everyday. I will let them learn that coming last means enjoying the run. I will explain to them that sometimes, you have to let others win. I will also tell them that losers have the advantage of having no pressure. I will make sure that they stop in the middle of the race to enjoy the smell of a random flower they found on the track. I will remind them again and again that in certain races, it is best not to win. And that sometimes, even if they know they are winning, they should not rub it in. I will teach them that winning is fun, but learning is more fun.

And I will be the best damn mother when I do all this. Oh. I think I have some unlearning to do first.