December 7, 2016 by Preeks
Today happens to be Sherlock and my second anniversary.
And I am so disappointed, I don’t have words to express.
Two years after getting married, I realize I never updated my relationship status on Facebook. Can you even fathom what that means?
I hear, 24 hours is all the leeway you get after tying the knot, to update on Facebook. I didn’t do it and now, I have no proof I am married to this dude, except for some random pics where we are both in white clothes, I look like Manjulika from Bhool Bhulaiiya and he is putting a thread around my neck. And of course, a court approved marriage certificate.
But who knows? Facebook doesn’t know and considering Facebook wants to know every minute “what’s on my mind?”, do you think she’s going to be ok with me hiding such a huge event of my life from her?
(I have blatantly assumed Facebook is a she. Why else would she be so concerned about what’s going on in someone’s mind?)
What if this marriage is declared null and void because, within hours of going through a painful wedding ceremony and risking the health of our jaws by smiling through hoards of people most of whom we didn’t know, instead of taking time out and diligently informing Facebook about it, we had the audacity to go sleep.
You know what’s worse? The husband quit Facebook last week. Which means, the world will never officially know we are married. How could we let it come to this?
To be fair, Facebook tried really hard to make me do this. Every time I go through my timeline and the wedding pics someone else tagged us in, come up, I see a note from Facebook – “Would you like to add an important event to the timeline?”
“Is there something you want to tell me about?”
(On her knees) “Please? I am begging you.”
(In tears) “Yahi din dekhne ke liye itne din tere privacy ko invade kiya? Ek update nahi kar sakti?”
And I be like, Naah.
Matters wouldn’t have been so bad, if we had *atleast* done the base level of PDA, without making it formal.
At least one video with some of our most romantic pics and an accompanying mushy line – “My life changed when you came into it. I will be yours forever and ever. Happy Anniversary, love :* “
If not a video, a collage atleast. I mean, come on. How lazy could we be? There are Facebook apps to do this.
Now how is the world to know how much we love each other? No pics of a cake and a rose, no selfie at a fancy restaurant, no declarations that Sherlock is the best husband in the world, no Googled lines for “Anniversary wishes to husband”, no nothing.
Shameless hiding of our lives from the public.
It made my heart cringe when despite my obnoxious behavior, this morning, Facebook gave me a notification saying “You have memories from 2 years ago.”
Cringe, I tell you.
How selfless is she? I did not bother to update her with my life’s information, but there she is, diligent as ever. Probably angry and sulking, looking the other way, and saying, “I am angry, but that doesn’t mean, I don’t care. I know what happened two years ago. And I am reminding you about it, so you can atleast share this with the world now. I care for you.”
I didn’t share the memories either. It’s almost like I don’t want random people to know about my life.
Oh wait. I don’t.
Happy Anniversary, Sherlock. Let’s go gorge on some serious food today.